Exterior of Seeger Chapel. Photo provided by Milligan College.
A new Spiritual Formation policy will soon be announced and come into effect on campus. On Monday, April 1, every disruption by a cell phone or electronic device during the Tuesday or Thursday convocation/chapel will incur an additional SFP credit needed to graduate for owners of the device. Stampede first came across this information through a secret memo unsuspiciously posted on the notice board in Derthick Hall.
It has been an issue of growing concern that during the course of chapel in Seeger. Lectures and sermons are usually interrupted by ringtones and app notifications from students’ phones and computers.
Sources close to this development have now confirmed the authenticity of this new policy. According to our source, “It’s been in the works for quite a while, but we haven’t got the technology to implement it, until now of course,” referring to the new technology that would make enforcing this policy possible.
The college will be making use of cutting-edge Sound Detection Sensor technology, SDS. This newly developed technology was originally designed by the advanced scientific community as a way to interact with extraterrestrial life, it has since been used to carry out several other tasks by private organizations.
Stampede was able to gather that over spring break, the administration embarked on an aggressive installation of the SDS systems in Seeger Hall. This was followed by several secret tests after students returned from break.
SDS technology combines a unique microphone and powerful processors. It provides not only audio output but also a binary indication of sounds from electronic devices. As for how it can identify the device’s user, our source was careful not to break that down but said, “Let’s just say that all the secret testings after spring break have been 100% successful.”
Following the success of the trials, the school administration is now ready to fully implement the electronic device policy in chapel.
“The addition of SFP credits will be seamless and hassle-free,” said a second source close to the policy, “it should take about 30 seconds from the time your cell phone interrupts in chapel to have an extra SFP added to your total.”
A few students have shared their feelings about this development, Roberto Keeley Jr. a Freshman said “It helps me put a check on my cell phone addiction so I’m not bothered about it.” Another student, junior Cecily Granite added, “I’ve always loved chapel, so when I found out I had a few more added I was excited!”
An official statement is expected soon from school administrators.
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