Dozens of students filled the front half of the cafe March 14 at 7:30 p.m. to listen to Dr. Lori Mills, professor of psychology, speak on the topic of “healthy sexuality,” sponsored by the campus IJM chapter.
Mills spoke for just over an hour, addressing several common questions or myths on the topic of a healthy sex life, then turning the discussion over to students. Led by a club member of IJM, each table participated in individual conversations on the topic of sexuality.
In regards to the campus conversation, Mills said that she had been “concerned and apprehensive about striking the right tone” but felt that the response to the event was encouraging.
“I’ve become more aware that maybe even Christian young people are separating their sexuality from their faith, not seeing them as related to each other,” Mills said. “I just think that’s unfortunate. I believe that all parts of our lives are influenced by and should be pervaded by our faith.”
Teve Mushayamunda, a sophomore public relations and advertising major who attended the campus conversation, said that he appreciated that IJM and Mills were willing to open the conversation on sexuality.
“I think this is an important conversation to have considering we live in a community where these conversations are never addressed,” he said. “Sometimes in our little Milligan bubble we don’t get exposed to what’s going on around us, so this conversation gave us new perspective.”
Mills was not sure that, as an institution, much has been done outside of the classroom to address the topic of sexuality in a Christian context, though over the years there have been events discussing sexuality and the issues surrounding it from time to time, sponsored by students and residence life programs.
“There are people who are trying to have and sponsor these conversations, but there are limitations on that,” Mills said. “There is a heightened sensitivity in talking about issues like this and how we approach them on a Christian campus.”
In Mills’ opinion, the Church has not done an adequate job addressing sexuality as well.
“I think many times it’s just been a message of ‘you shouldn’t have sex before marriage,’” she said. “That’s the message, and there’s not a lot of fleshing out of what that looks like, and not a lot of grace if that’s not the way things have gone.”
Praise Gichuru, chair of the IJM chapter and senior international business student, said that the decision to begin a conversation on the topic of healthy sexuality came out of a desire to address the demand side of human trafficking, which, according to Gichuru, is based primarily in giving business to unethical companies and buying in to the skewed view of sexuality that our culture promotes today.
“The more and more we talked about (the demand for human trafficking), the more we realized that we really have an issue as a culture in how we talk about our sexuality,” Gichuru said. “A lot of it is tied in identity politics, but the truth of the matter is that we just have come so far away from discussing what is healthy and what is unhealthy.”
Gichuru also spoke to the “dichotomy” that exists between individuals who advocate for the abolition of human trafficking and also subscribe to our culture’s prevalent view of sexuality, through the pornography industry as well as media.
“If we are so desensitized to the sexuality that exists on our media platforms to where, in theory, we are advocating for victims of human trafficking and in practice we’re not, there should be something wrong there,” she said. “That’s just a tension spot, because, for some reason, we just don’t see that as something that is fighting against our own fight.”
According to Gichuru, trying to communicate this in a way that would be effective for the campus while opening the conversation on sexuality was the heart behind the events that IJM planned.
Like Mills, Gichuru believes that Christian communities have not discussed sexuality in a way that has been helpful, or even healthy, for the community.
“I think that like most of our faith-based communities, we are not talking about it enough–and when we do talk about it, we’re not talking about it in ways that are uplifting,” Gichuru said, though she added that much of the negativity surrounding sex is justified because of the ways it has been perverted by issues such as sexual abuse.
“There’s a lot of disconnection in where our sexuality places in our walk with God,” she said, “and we’ve dissociated that with our love for God and discipling people to Christ. But it’s worth fighting for, and in so many more ways than just pushing abstinence and purity.”
Gichuru added that the IJM chapter seeks to stand in solidarity with movements like #metoo and #timesup and proactively open spaces for students to have conversations about sexuality.
IJM will be holding several events in the month of April surrounding the issue of sexual assault awareness.
