Growing up, I was never punished nor rewarded for my grades. My parents instilled in me from the beginning that education is to be valued and pursued intentionally. They let me discover the kind of student I wanted to be without pressuring me to be who they wanted me to be. Needless to say, my academic drive was completely self-motivated.
One thing my parents always told me, however, was that whatever I do, I should work at it wholeheartedly and do the best that I can. All they wanted was my very best, not a certain GPA or particular grade. Their encouragement obviously came straight from scripture, as in Colossians 3:23, Paul says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
But as time went on, I began to find my identity in my education. I defined success as good grades. I strove for a perfect GPA and would do just about anything to achieve it. I found myself in a constant state of stress. Every assignment, every paper, every exam made me anxious because I was so worried about the grade I might earn on it.
I allowed myself to be defined by my work.
I vividly remember being handed a graded math exam my freshman year. I had failed it. I loved math and it was my best subject. I was horrified. My self-talk was filled with defeat as I internalized that I, as a person, had failed. I believe to this day, that failure is the very thing I needed to give me a little perspective. Even though I had failed, I was still a student. Even though I had failed, I was still passing the class. Even though I had failed, I was still still surrounded by the same people that I love. Even though I had failed, I was still serving the same God. A sense of overwhelming guilt came over me as I realized just how engulfed I was by the need to succeed academically. I had sacrificed time with family, friends and people who needed me, for the sake of my GPA.
I had internalized Colossians 3:23 and used it as my excuse to work hard and prioritize my GPA, but I neglected to apply the following verse 24 that reads, “knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.”
Whatever I do, no matter what it is–as long as it is pleasing and glorifying of God–I will receive His inheritance: the gift of knowing him forever. To work wholeheartedly at something does not give me an excuse to focus solely on my education and selfishly pursue the fulfillment of a perfect GPA. I am to work wholeheartedly at whatever it is that is in front of me at the moment.
A wholehearted mindset might look like putting the books and homework aside because a friend is hurting and needs your attention. A wholehearted mindset might look like putting the books and homework aside because your family is in town and wants to be with you. A wholehearted mindset looks different for each of our lives, but to those who, like me, find themselves wrapped up in their grades, it might look like stepping away from school so that we may learn who we are to be outside of being a student.
Joan Chittister, a Benedictine nun and author, puts it this way: “We need to learn that there are some things worth doing in life that are worth doing poorly, if doing them perfectly means we will have destroyed people for the sake of producing the product.”
God intended us to work and work is good. But, work should never be for our own good alone. It should be intent on building the Kingdom.
Sometimes school needs to come first. And sometimes it most definitely doesn’t, and that needs to be OK. Grades are not everything. Look around at the people you are surrounded by at the place you are at in the moment and fulfill your role in the kingdom before you focus on yourself. God has more in store for you than the pride of your grades. Remember that.
I will always struggle with the temptation to put my education above all; that is just something I will always carry with me. But, work hard at what will bring you the reward of joy in the Lord, not in your own accomplishments. Perhaps a simple refocus and reevaluation is all we need, but nonetheless, we are to be in continuous pursuit of finding our identity in Christ and what the means individually to us.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward.” Colossians 3:23-24.